[Sometimes... ]

[Sometimes... ]
... I hate myself...

[Sometimes... ]
... I hate those girls...
... I hate the way they smile at you, pretending that you don't have a girlfriend...
... I hate the way they say bad things about us and about me in my backs...

[Sometimes... ]
... I want you close to me, holding me tight...
... I wanna be alone, surrounded by my own darkness...

[Sometimes... ]
... I miss you dad...
... I want you far away from me...

[Sometimes... ]
... I want break something...
... I cry because I broke the wrong thing...

[Sometimes... ]
... I look back and think that they deserve all the things I did
... I look back and I regret everything...

[Sometimes... ]
... I kick the world right in the ass...
... The world kick me back away to my corner...

[Sometimes... ]
... I wanna scream...
... I wanna break...
... I wanna leave...
... I wanna live...
... I wanna feel the fresh air...

[Sometimes... ]
... I do not deserve to be grounded...
... I deserve to be kicked out...

[Sometimes... ]
... I dream with you...
... I remember you...
... I miss you...
... I'm scared of you...
... I wish you weren't dead...
... I think in how you hurt me... But even so I wish you weren't dead...
... I think of you...

[Sometimes... ]
... I'm jealous...
... I can't get along with her...
... I remember when she was my best friend and how she is now falling for you...
... I call her a bitch and I mean it...
... I wish she was far away...
... I wish you were all mine...
... I make evil stories in my head that I know they'll never happen in real life...
... I HATE THOSE BITCHES!

[Sometimes... ]
... I realize I shouldn't have trusted in you...
... I think it all was a lie...
... I think you were pretending all the time...
... I wish you're okay... I wish you don't have any problem with the path you chased...

[Sometimes... ]
... I just want to disappear...
... I don't know what to say...
... I just don't know what to think...
... I feel like I'm with my hands and my feet chained...
... I feel like a child...
... I can be your sweet dream...
... I can be your living hell...

That's up to you ...

"PAY ATTENTION DAMN IT!"

"Haii Haii T.T"

I don't have nothing to complain about... except my marks. I had a miserable 9.5 in geometry! It doesn't matter how hard I try, I'll never make it because I don't understand anything from that thing. For me it is only a bunch of scraps and lines, nothing more... Oh god T.T I need to have good marks... I really need it! I'm trying really hard to pay attention in classes, today it was awful because I really tried to stay tunned to the class, I even put my notebook away so I couldn't write... Well I was tunned for more time, even that I dispersed a bi tin the end... It's really hard for me! People don't understand that but it is... I have problems with my attention since my first grade, I always had my notebooks full with little notes to my parents, I never paid attention... I just couldn't and now it's the same... I just can't o.o No matter how hard I try I can't concentrate in the most disciplines... Geometry is to forget... I try but then my head starts hurting and I have to turn off my attention... Portuguese... More or less... I think I can pass more that half 'n hour tunned... English I can pay attention (Today I paid *feels proud*) And History too... Philosophy also, it's funny and stuff... And Drawing is my favorite ^^ I can pay attention even if I have to push myself to hard... But only for those I really like...

With the time I think that I'm loving you even more... Really, I feel so naive, so innocent... It's so good to have you by my side ^^ You're always so cute for me and you look so pissed off when other guys come talk to me... you don't have to be jealous... I just love you *-*

To my sweet Anonymous friends...

Hey bitches! Wassup? Did you ever figure out that jealousy is fucked up? If you don't like me just go away, I don't give a shit if you're here or if you don't. I only accept the comments because I think that everyone has the right to give their opinion but for god sakes get a life bitches! You're just a bunch of whores who don't know how to live rightly without being a pain in the ass. Just go fuck your friends with benefits, I'm sure you have tons of them so just go ^^ Maybe one day you'll be found dead in some valley with a junkie fucking your corpse's ass! I don't care if you hate me, I don't live to fucking please you and like Kurt Cobain said "I'd rather be hated for who I am that be loved for who I am not!"

FUCK OFF BITCHES! GET A FUCKING LIFE AND LIVE ME ALONE

┌∩┐(●_●)┌∩┐

OMG!

OMG! I can't yet believe it! My days are a total twist I have to admit it... In one minute I just heard her yelling "OH FUCK GO TALK WITH HER DAMN IT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T HAVE COURAGE! GET SOME FUCKING BALLS DUDE!" and in the other you were outside the school building kissing me... Oh my god it felt so good... I really love you you know... You kidnapped me outside and then you put your hand around my waist, you didn't even give me time to complain or something and you kissed me... And I was like O.O *OOOMMMMMGGG* and of course I kissed you back... I still have that silly smile in my face and I had it all time during Philosophy test... (And I almost felt asleep but oh well o.o)...

You know what?
...
...
...

I LOVE YOU! <3

I need a hug...

I need a hug... don't ask me why... just hug me...
This is what I think... The way I feel... JUST HUG ME DAMN IT!
I'm with twirl of feeling inside me... I just wanna scream, kick something, break something...
I was the whole month asking myself why didn't he answer to my messages... And yesterday I knew it... Since 2nd October... It was devastating! I felt so bad... And I'm still that way... Sometimes people are at the wrong place in the wrong hour with the wrong purpose...

And what I hate the most is when people try to help when saying "I know what your feeling, believe me... It happened to me..." It's just annoying! Like my mother did today... IT'S MY PROBLEMS! DON'T GIVE EXAMPLES OF YOUR OWN PROBLEMS DAMN IT! It's like when someone say I can count on her and then when I start talking about what happened she start talking about her problems like ... "Dude... we're talking about me... Can you give at least 1 minute of your attention?" I don't ask much...

And now I just want a hug... I wan't your hug... Because I lost a friend that was very close to me... I could even say that he was my best friend... And now...
Just hug me :x I'm not o-fucking-kay....

R.I.P. Johnny D... I love you...

5 cm é demais...

Bem... Eu poderia dizer que hoje os meus lábios estiveram a 5cm dos teus, mas estaria claramente a exagerar... 5cm é uma distância demasiado longa, pois eu estive muito mais perto... Senti a tua respiração e também consegui aspirar o teu nervosismo... Por alguma razão não te beijei, tu também afastaste-te logo, ia eu avançar os lábios estavas tu ja a largar-me... É interessante porque hoje depois das aulas fui contigo e mais duas amigas para cima, estava a ganhar coragem e quando me despedisse de ti ia-te beijar, mas o autocarro passou, tu e elas começaram a correr apenas ouvi a tua voz um pouco distante do meu ouvido "Desculpa..." e depois já ias lá longe... Frustração e tristeza foram os sentimentos que se seguiram... Porque é que sempre que eu ganho coragem há sempre algo no meio? Oh life sucks.. I almost forgot that part...

Agora dediquei-me a arte do origami. Espero ficar cada vez melhor =D ... e lembrei-me... >///< MALDITOS HOMENS SEXISTAS! MACHISTAS! Nem acredito que não há ligas femininas aqui na zona! E lá se vai o andebol <.< Mas porque é que todos os desportos que eu quero fazer sofrem algum contratempo? ; _ ;

I'm Sick ; _ ;

Ahhh Life sucks T.T It's not fair! I don't wanna be sick <.<
Estou mesmo fodida da minha saúde :x
Oh yeah! Life's a bitch... and then you die --"

Die!

Just die! Get out of my life at once! It's frustrating! It's torturing! And the saddest part is that you know! [or perhaps you don't <.<]You know you're breaking my heart! You're making me fall apart... And you know it... It's funny... You know everything! You know how much I love you, you know how important you are, you know how much I care, you know how much I suffer...

YOU MAKE ME WANNA DIE! EVERYTIME I LOOK INSIDE YOUR EYES... MAKE ME WANNA DIE!

I just can't take it much longer!
You say you love me... You know what? I don't believe you 'cuz you act like you don't and it hurts... Have you ever figured out that I might be really in love with you? Had you even realize that? It's not that hard for god sakes! I just don't know what to do... I've run out of ideas... You're alwats jealous of my friends... I don't understand you! "I got a lot to say to you! Yeah I got a lot to say... I noticed you're eyes are always glued to me, keeping them here and it makes no sense at all! (...) Crush... Crush... Crush, Crush, Crush! Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone. Just the one, two I was just counting on. That never happen, I guess I'm dreaming again... Let's be more than... THIS!"

I'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one hole minute...

I love you...
I hate you...

JUST DIE! Why don't you come up to me and say "I love you"? Why?! Am I asking to much? It's nothing more... I would be so happy... if you come talk to me and surprised me with a kiss (I love surprises you know)... If you love me why don't you say that right in front of me?! I love you and if you love me, like you say, why aren't we together?
But I guess I'm dreaming again... I'm always dreaming and perhaps that's why nothing happens... 'Cuz it's all just a dream... Or a nightmare...

Anipop =D

I know it's a bit late and so on but I were so worried all time about that little fuckface (yeah that guy that I love <.<) and I didn't write anything about it... Well anyway I love it! I was there with 2 friends (Ce and Danny) and then I found one more and he had a friend to *-* (Dii and Mario) *o* and I met another people that are really great and had give me such support in all this stuff... I cosplayed Temari once again and I'm actually planing in using the costume again in JAPAN WEEKEND but I don't know yet ^^ Temari was my first cosplay a year ago and one of my goals is to improve it more and more 'til perfection *o* I guess I made some progress... Last Year:


This year: (Anipop :P)


I guess it was better :D What do you think? ^^
Well I'll post here more pics of this event.. I really enjoyed this and then there was my skit that was so funny xD I just entered the stage and yelled "SHUT THE HELL UP!" and everybody stare at me with eyes wide open x) And I use the song Devour by Shinedown. It was so amusing!
Pics: =D I love you all people ^^






Me yet in home... But with my new hair style ready :P Like a Temari punk *-*

Oh I love you girls *-* You made my day :P Really ^^

Oh look at tha badass look *-* OMG *O* I looked really like Temari's face *-* Except the hair '3'

Haven't you get it yet? - . -"

"Okay Okay! If you say so..." XD

"Feel the power of me! *-*" (narcissist XD)

"You think You're seeing me.. But you're not~" :P

Into Reality

Last night was the night that my heart was beaten... Last night all my walls felt... Last Night I opened my heard and magicly I didn't get hurt! Okay... It's true that I don't know how to look at you tomorrow... I don't know if I'll wait to you to come talk to me or if I should go talk first... I don't know if it's true that you don't love the other girl... But that I need to know! I'll have to know it clear! I would not acepte or even support to be with you because (and just cuz) you couldn't have nothing with her. It would be so awful... Would you have nerve to do that? Oh I would make your life a living hell! Just 'cuz I love you enough... Enough? Oh god XD Enough isn't enough to say that!
And I was so happy! After all our talk you said it! You said "I love you =)" I was already off but after all I came back see if you said anything and there it was... "I love you" ... Now I just hope that words were really meant... I hope that words weren't like the last ones... (perhaps you actually meant the last ones... but even so you didn't have balls to admit it even when I was direct enough and said that I liked you...)
Well... I guess that after all this I'll have to cut down your balls if you just think in hurting me again (yes again... those last days were like a living nightmare to me... after that bitch tell me that you loved her and after my brother-in-class confirm the hole story... It was devastating!)

500 Days of Summer

Love Hurts!!

Finally, a movie for those of us who have loved and not be loved in return and couldn’t understand why... This Love story actually isn't a love story... I found this movie sweet and sad, hilarious and devastating... Truly frustrating! Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel put a lot of effort in their characters and the result was an awesome movie with such an good story that make us think about what love really is...

"This post modern love story is never what we expect it to be — it’s thorny yet exhilarating, funny and sad, a twisted journey of highs and lows that doesn’t quite go where we think it will. When Tom (Gordon-Levitt), a hapless greeting card copywriter and hopeless romantic, is blindsided after his girlfriend Summer (Zooey Deschanel) dumps him, he shifts back and forth through various periods of their 500 days “together” to try to figure out where things went wrong. His reflections ultimately lead him to finally rediscover his true passions in life."


Actually I saw the trailer of this movie in some German Chanel long time ago but I didn't catch the name and really enjoyed the story... A few weeks later I found the movie in a facebook of a friend and I figure out it was the same that I'd saw long ago... I just hurry up to download it!

This comedy is really catchy because it's pretty soft, you shift back and forth from the number of days when Tom is happy with Summer in his life to the number of days when he’s miserable because he can’t figure out why she won’t love him back. It can be a bit frustrating watching this especially for those of us who’ve been in that situation but I think that’s where the writing is successful, for half the movie, it sorta makes an enemy out of Summer and we feel for Tom, but eventually we’ve come to realize that Tom is too needy and we understand that Summer’s decision is actually the wise one...

My sweet twisted mind...

Sorry but I think you didn't understand it well enough... I love you that is true but even so I can't control those little evil plans that my mind made up on her own...
Today was the day that my sweet friend told me what you said to her during classes... What a shame isn't it? Just when someone starts to fade away we understand that she/he's important to us... It's that true? I mean... Do you care so much? Would you miss me if I, after all sudden, disappear without any trace...
You woke up the demon inside of me... Now it's pretty hard to shut her down again! There wasn't without reason that people start calling me Miss Murder... I just liked to ruin their life... Sometimes I think I'm evil but now... perhaps I'm being fair enough! Oh my love you hurt me so much... Now my dreams are haunted by you. Do you think that is good? Do I haunt yours too? I would really enjoy that...
I'm happy today, so happy about what I heard... I must confess... perhaps Miss Murder would fall asleep with your kiss... But oh! I just forgot it... You don't love me... You love another girl isn't it?
Do you know that I have a sweet twisted mind? Yes I have... Even if I love you I'm gonna make you suffer so much! Yes... This is not a good thing to say... Normal people would be happy if their beloved one were happy... But I'm not that normal... So if you're not mine, you're not from anyone else! Call me selfish, call me egocentric, call narcissist, call everything you want to... I don't care. I'll be sweet to you... I can't avoid that! I just can't... When you're with me you're all sweet and cute and that makes me fall apart a bit... But then again, something inside of me recalls her... She wakes and then I'm not in peace anymore... My rage starts growing and my fears too... And my love for you too... I just can't hold it okay? Why do you have to be like that?! If I could I would make you disappear of my life, of my dreams, of my twisted mind!

Get out!

...
JUST DIE YOU' MOTHERFUCKER!

10º dia '3'

Décimo dia - uma confissão.

Bem... uma confissão... Só uma... Isso assim é muito complicado!

Confesso que não sei mesmo o que fazer e ai não me estou a referir a nenhuma situação em especial... Estou numa fase em que me sinto bastante confusa e sinto-me sozinha e sem ninguém ao meu lado (sei que isso não é verdade... A Ce, o David e a Adri têm me dado bastante apoio... Se não fossem vocês não sei^^... mas ainda assim...). Sinto-me mesmo sozinha e não tenho paciência para as pessoas, simplesmente não tenho... Esta confusão na minha cabeça afecta também o modo como lido com as pessoas... ultimamente não tenho paciência nenhuma e só me apetece mandar toda a gente para o caralho! Mas tento-me controlar e reprimo tudo o que sinto... Durante o dia inteiro eu guardo para mim todas as minhas frustrações... Quando o que me apetecia fazer era dizer tudo na cara as pessoas! E depois a única maneira de libertar a raiva toda que acumulo durante o dia é com a minha almofada... (ela sofre tanto comigo xD)
Eu adoro os amigos que tenho e eles têm sido de ouro para mim, se não fossem eles sinceramente não sei o que seria de mim... Mas mesmo assim sou constantemente assolada por momentos de grande solidão... E tudo simplesmente porque acabei de apanhar a minha maior desilusão...

And do you know the saddest part? Is That I love you and I thought you'd feel the same too... How naive I was... How foolish I was... How stupid I am! ('Cuz I can't forget you!)